At The Mess I Made

Ever have a decision in your life that comes very close to ruining everything you've worked so hard on? I guess I had one of those decisions. I jumped headfirst into something I wasn't ready for, my heart wasn't ready for it. Now I'm left behind with all my tears and doubts, and my heart is to blame for all my head's mistakes. I should've stuck it out with the guy who was always there for me, I shouldn't have dumped him for some stupid guy who ended up hurting me horribly because all he did was lie to me. My mom never approves of what I do. She wouldn't even come see the show, when she knew how happy I was to be doing lights and mics. I was ecstatic. I felt at home in that little boothe, unlike anything else.

Now she seems to care about a guy more than me. Sure, he has a screwed up life, but aren't I a little bit important? Sometimes I just wish I could be by myself now. I already act like an adult, why can't I just be one? I can get a job, and pay for my own shit. I'm just not "old enough". Y'know, I'm..so...sick of everything that has happened for the longest time. I keep staring at the mess I made, and I don't know how to fix it. I want to be alone. When I hit eighteen, my mom won't find me anywhere. I'm going, going, and I'll be gone...


This I know.

Everything happens for a reason. I dont blame you one bit for dumping him. He was is an asshole. However its not right that you mom is taking better care of him than of you. I would leave too but just be careful where you go....you dont know what you mite find