Aliees blog

well sitting here in study hall. They normally call it "Bug" idk i guess that is suposted to be cute of something like that. its impossable to get any work down because of all these damn morrons in my class . They never shut that hell up it a wonder that anyone can get anything done! normally if i really need to study i go up to the lieberry where i can focas a least a little bit. im mean really i just wish these stupid freshmen(at least they act like freshmen) would just shut the hell up but of cousre that would just be way too easy huh?
Well my weekend will probely long and lonely. both my parents are on Va-k and me rya and brea have the house to ourselfs. then again most of my weekends are lonely. Ive been talking to a couple guys just to try and get my mind off and ex-boyfriend and it really dosent help when none of the little fuckers ever text you back. i know that those nothing wrong with me i would just like a little atention. i was looking forward to not being alone this year on valentines day. and yes kako i know that invite me come oover but its just not the same, ive always wanted to be able to come to school and find some husge stuffed animal and some rose and a sweet card on my desk and then look up and see the boy that gave them to me. which of course is proplbely what alot of girls want ive never had a boyfriend on valentines day and for once i would like to see what it feels like. course if no guy likes me like that then im just shit out of luck. which sucks because normally i end going home and crying. and im real sick of it.

well my sister dumped the guy that she was seeing. they didnt fuck so my aunt(who works with him) is going to try and get him to notice me. OMG he is so hot. i could just go on and on but i dont want to clean up vomit from my page ok the site has been running for a bout two weeks or so gimme just a mintue and ill have updated stats for you

Aliee

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And im pretty sure the most popluar topic was hostiel hospteal keep up the awsome work

feeling better today. im still over at kakos house. we stayed up till about 4 or so then i pasted out lol. going over to my aunt chele cheles tomorow and that is always fun its even better because the guy i like just mite stop by! at least i hope he does, oh i hope he likes me i dont see why he wouldnt. Wish me luck my peeps!

*^_^*Yap we stay up super lateO_Oguess what?!?!??!O_Oyou can see the floor in my room now!!!

I have a really bad headache. just tried to read ashleys blog but the school system blocked it so idk how much longer where going to be able to get on at school. Not much going on right now

Sense i can get online at home i don't normaly get online at school and sense i won't be in computer class much longer then i won't be on as much. Also i won't be online much at home,alot of stuff going on right now,noting to worry about*^_^*Super kako always pulls through.

Going dress shopping this weekend. im not real sure what kind of dress i want. i know that alot of girls are going to DEBs because there having this big saill and what not. Which sucks cuz thats were i was hoping to get my dress. Id like somthing strapless, prefurably black. I decided that im just going to dress like a total fucking freak i wish i had the money to get a realy pricey dress but i dont so oh well thats all for now


Aliee

Holey shit! Kako did an amazeing job on the website! Make sure you thank her. it tolataly kicks ass...unlike my spelling lol. THANK YOU KAKO!

YAY!! i got this really awsome part in this skit that the drama class is doing for the xmass show! i hope i can merize all the lines..i have alot. Me and kako are working on something for drama class too. i love that so maney of our friends have jioned i think its great that people take such an intrest in acting! I think i impreses our drama teach when i read the lines yeasterday, but i read them way way way too fast today. i hope i dont do that stage i talk fast when im really happy or neourvs

ALiee

ugh im stuil recovering from getting food poisening. i ate some bad buttter and my stomach still hurts. The xmas show is this weekend and im both looking forward to it and dreading it. I think i finally have my part memerrized or at least half. Got my snowball dress and i cnat wait to start praticeing my makeup for it! Im hoping that if i do a good job my mom will let me do my own makeup for prom whitch would be awsome!
Kentizh let me borrow her maylin manson book and i tell you that guy is messed up! well i knew that any way but i had no clue how messed up he was! i really had to skipp a few pages it was that bad but in the same sence his writeing is very honset very dark but he didnt lean away from disturbing details which is something that ive seen alot of writers do(includign my self sometime)

Aliee

Your Deadly Sins
Wrath: 80%

Envy: 60%

Pride: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Lust: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Greed: 20%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 49%

You will die in prison, in a puddle of your own blood.

O_Othat last one was weird*^_^*whait inteal you get on here and see what i did to the website this time i hope you like it!

once again in study hall. ive been working on a new story and it coming along really good. its not like anything ive ever really writen before. The main girl, ridley, shes....odd.. .its weird i dont fully understand her. I dont know why she reacts the ways she does. She so quiet and so shy and im not really like that. Im sure some of you can understand writeing createing a character but not haveing a clue what they are about. Ive been writeing like crazy. a couple days ago my hand even started to hurt a little . well i wrote a scrpit that is taken from a sence in my book. Check the poems writeing thread for it!

ALiee

Havent been in the greast mood rencently. I know im going to prom alone and this is yet anouther year that i will spend valentines day the same way. I had what i believe was a panic attack last night. What brought it on you may ask? I bit my lip and i tasted the blood. Insently my head started spinning. The worse part was i couldnt get my heart beat to slow down, it kept me up half the night. Those of you who know all the stupid shit that is going on in my life right now i thank you for standing by my side. Its nice to know that in this carzy world i have people i can go to. Feb. is never a good month for me, but i made it thou before and i can do it agian.

Yours
Aliee

=3yeah i was up half the night to whaiting for you to go to sleep but i coulden't stay up very long and fell asleep under your bed

Alot of crazy stuff has happened in my life. Just recently there was a cancer scare in my family. None of you know about this because it wasnt something i wanted to share. About a month ago my mom found a lump in her thoart. She went to get a biopsea done, When the results came back, they came back abnormal. Abrnormal, uselsy means pre-cancer. She had surgey today to get the lump removed and half of her thyrod.
Has you can imange the thought my mom haveing cancer, even a "cureable" kind haunted my thoughts. Nitemares about floods, and death plauged my dreams. I didnt sleep, and when i did i didnt sleep well. Finally one thursday nite i broke. My mom asked me to do a healing spell(yes a wiccan spell, deal with it!). To the best my ablity a made her a healing charm. A little bracelet made of six difrent colors or thread. While i made this bracelet i said a prayer over and over in my head. Since my recent brush with heartbreak back in nov. i just started praying. not really daily but i was praying. I just wanted to feel something. Ive done my best to be a good person and i felt all i was getting back was shit.
Like i said, mom's surgey was today. They took out the lump and did anouther biopsea. And...nothing....the lump looks benine. Which means no cancer! When i heard the news, without knowing why i lifted my head. And i swear to you i could finally feel the energey the Gods and Goddess. What i had been praying for, i filnaly got my answer. Has i sit in this uncomfoable chair, my hands shakeing has i type, my eyes briming with tears i can still feel the energy in my heart and soul. For once in my life the light at the end of the tunnel wasnt a train! It wasnt a train! It wasnt a train! It was God. I know this sounds very unlike me to say....or type, but its true. I really dont give a fuck if you believe me but i tell you right now, prayer works. You will get your anwser, you will find the way. Just keep trying and never give up!


Still Evil, still punk, still me
@l!$on

FLYLEAF-TREASURE
Can I tell you a story as we dance while the sun starts to bleed
Song of songs love is calling daughter wake up from your sleep

Refined I'll become the most dazzling precious treasure
I'll be treasured over all the earth

Bearing the gift of a new heart
Patience ablaze I'm slowly burning

Refined ill become the most dazzling precious treasure
Ill be treasured over all the earth

I am in awe and in shock
I'm in love and given away
I'm reserved with these words:

Can I tell you a story as we dance while the sun starts to bleed
Trees rejoice with the wind here
Hallelujah, Yes Shua

Tonight I've become the most dazzling precious
I am treasured over all the earth
Just look at what he's done
How he's laying down his life
Take this life
Oh most dazzling precious treasure
Tonight I've become the most dazzling precious treasure
I am treasure over all the earth.

Been a while since ive been on and for that i am sorry. We have been really busy with the play. Finally all of our hard work will be payed off! All those hours spent danceing and singing those gay yet cacthy songs is going to pay off!! I cant wait for the show! I was even able to claw my way into having a chacrater with a name The dress rehusels(or however the fuck you spell it) are going to be crazy! I have no idea how i am going to get thou them but i will afterwords my skin will be screaming bc of all the thick stage make up. So to everyone who has helped out wit the play in any way thank you ssssssooooo much! I realy hope it goes good. It it doesent i saw be sad but im hopeing it will!! Hope to see you at the show

M!$$ AL!33

the crazyness that is involed with the play! here we a few days away form openig nite and a lead kicked out of her role! Its crazy! ugh i just hope the play goes well we haver been working our asses off for two months(even thou it should be longer) kant write for real long im sure all of you are either in the play or know the details

M!$$ AL!33

so most of you already know what happened between me a alica at caseys party. if dont then ill tell you, we made out I dont see it has a big deal and no one esle realy does either lol. The most common question that ive gotten is whetever or not i liked it. The answer? Yes. I did, but kissing her is the farest i want to go believe me! Am i bi? I dont know. Maybe. i consinder myself open minded.

I wont lie. Since the play has ended i am a little down but i cant even begen to tell you how much it has helped me. Our first night we got a standing ovation! Ive gotten them before but for the first time i felt like it was for me! Preforming on stage is amazeing! The moment the spotlite comes on and all eyes on you the world simplely fades out. For a moment everything is perfect, no matter what youre going thou it doesnt matter. All that matters is the stage, the spotlite and the show. Thank you so much to everyone that came and helped out. it went amazeing and has done wonders for my self confendence. Im sure you tell from my past post that i really needed a boost. After kc dumped me i pretty much crashed completly but the show has really helped me see my talents. Maybe i cant dance worth a shit but i think im a pretty good actress and a fareily decent singer.

The guy ive had a huge crush on since i was a freshmen is getting ready to break up with his girlfriend. Yeasterday i heard him talking to a kara about whats going on wit him and his gf. The energy comming off of him almost suffcated me. I hate seeing my friends in pain, and he is my friend. He's a pretty kool friend. The only problem is that somtimes i dont even think he knows that i exist lol every other girl in the world has that problem huh? im too much a chicken shit to come out and tell him. On sunday me, him and a group of people helped ouy my friend at his church. Thats when he told me about the trouble hes been having wit his gf(at the time i had a bf but we broke up) later that day him and two other dudes were playing drums in the main part of the church. I was standing there, smilely cutely enjoying the musik. I knew that they were playing bc the guy i like sent some one to come find me so that i could hear them play. After a few rounds of the classic game
"is he looking at me? I'm looking at him. He's looking at me! Look away! Look away!" he hugged me then left. The next day i know i caught him checking me out(at the time it flew under my rader but i remeber it clearly) yearterday he called me across the room so that he could wipe eyeliner off my face(thank you mother!) he must have left early toda because i didnt see him 5the period and i havent seen him yet(were in 7th) i dont know what to do. He's a senoir so i feel like if i dont do something then im going to lose my only shot at him. IF any one has any advice feel free to post it but dont use names other then mine because most of you know him.

"Lovesickmelody is gonna get the best of me tonite" Paramore

Rember that guy i was talking about in my last post? I finaly manged to get someone to talk to him for me and i know that he likes me. the problem is im too much of a chicken to talk to him about it! GIRRR! i dont know what to do...so ill share with you a song that has stayed true though out time


She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing

'Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate and all of this pain
Burning all down as my anger reigns
'Til verything burns
Ohh.. ooh...

Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
To consume and then masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings

'Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate and all of this pain
Burning all down as my anger reigns
'Til verything burns

Everything burns
Everything burns
Everything burns
Everything burns

Watching it all fade away (All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
Watching it all fade away
Ohhhh

'Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate and all of this pain
Burning all down as my anger reigns
'Til verything burns

Ohhoh
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
Ahh
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away

I know now that he likes me the only problem is that he just broke up with his girlfriend of three years. he keeps saying that he needs time and i understand that. its just that ive waited so long...so fucking long Part of me thinks that its just a line but i do think he likes me.
My mom has being a total bitch. Everything i do i do wrong. Ive told her about the guy and she has already decided that she doesent like him. I feel like she wont be happy unless i go out with josh, my aunts friends lozer son. I dont want too! He is a freaking lozer. its bad enough that i had to take him to prom! Confusen is swirling in my brain. Over both the guy and my mom. I dont understand why my mom is being such a bitch. If everything i do is wrong then why when i ask questions im the biggest dumbshit in the world? Theres no winning and i dont even think i have ground to stand on.
I dont sleep very well. I keep having weird dreams. last nite i dreamed that it was raining pink fogs in my bedroom, nite before i dreamt that me and my friends were in a car that spinning in circles. I pulled the key out but it didnt make a divrence. I open the door to jump out.
Then i woke up.

Aliee

i feel a hell of alot better then i did yeasterday. after having a nitemare about zombies eating my entire family. i was up at midnite and never went back to sleep. Forced myself out of bed at 5:30. i truged to skool walking has if it was dream. By my second class i couldnt take it anymore. i texted my mom and she picked me up during fourth period. I went home, had a mental break and didnt hardly eat a thing all nite. Things are falling apart around me. The worst part? there is nothing i can do i am the kind of person who likes control. i need to have control of something or a flip out. This is just what happened yearsterday. Alot of my friends are leaving this year, mainly because they are seniors, going to pseo or going to the vo-k skool. Im gonna miss them. Its the end of the year and everything ive looked foward to is ending. there is nothing i can do. there is nothing i can do. i have to acpect that but if i do that would be giving up and i wont let myself do that. my lips are bitten from crying. i know that things wil get better but right now they suck



you were the ink in my eyes black with blasphemy
from the night before
the sweet sacrifice that you offered was bitter
dark chocolate, savored it down to my core
where I smolder
no wonder
I am frozen today
The carousel runs on, and I hum along
Hum the morning away

Go on and Tango the Gorgon to bed, my dear
best be prepared to get all that you bargained for
and when the curtain comes down
these decisions must be made
On the day that the carnival heads out of town
leaving no trace, just a music box melody running down
would you caravan at my side, my love, will you ride?

See how we smolder
no wonder
I am frozen today
The carousel runs on
and I sing along,
dance the morning away, hey

oh, don't trust the sideshow serpentina
shadows run fierce when the curtain comes down
but no fiercer than those you may find
looking into these eyes
Look into my eyes.

Oh, you were the truth of my running mascara
the moment my mask was no more
I offered me up sweet and bitter,
suspecting you'd courage to savor me down to my core
where I smolder
no wonder I am frozen today
the midway is breaking down
do I let this miracle stay, or do I cast it away
No wonder I am freezing, bleeding today
with the carnival I will leave town
like the melody running down
but darling for now
let the carousel play
running away

They will all say
don't trust the sideshow serpentina
shadows grow long when the curtain comes down
but no longer like those you may find
gazing into these eyes
Look into my eyes.