Aliees blog

today is the seniors last day. tis a sad day. i have become pretty atached to alot of them. yeasterday was their last drama class. Everybody cried including me . Right now i feel like my heart is cracking. Ive never had friends leave like this before. Its very depressing. I can already feel a panic attack coming on. Maybe after skool i will walk to the shop, take my shoes off(im in heels) and just run like hell . that wont bring them back. all of them keep saying that we will see them again but i know the truth. i know that most of them i will never see. im not stupid. my heart is fighting to get out of my cheast. this sucks. i know everyone will be crying in my drama class again. hopefully i dont freak out to bad. wish me luck my darlings

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

my weekend pretty much sucked. the guy that i really like kinda blew me off ok maybe its a bit unfair to put it that way. he said his car broke down, and its very possable that thats what happened. his car is a piece of shit. part of me wish that i could just trust everyone but i dont work like that. i know that some of you are ready to kill me because im such a pessamist but i cant help it. after being disapoint and mislead as many times as ive been you just start expecting the worst and hopping for the best. im not really looking forward to summer but im not dreading it. i know that i wont do anything interesting but i still feel trapped in the glass box that is this county Im feeling held down again, i need to take a trip(for those you who got that refence i thank you) i know that im going to be trapped i this place for a while. im suposted to be moving in with my aunt when i get out of skool but really what i want to do is go far away. id still stay in touch with my family but im just so scared of being trapped in this place my whole life. i want to see the world. what is beyound this redneck bible filled place?? I want to know! On the other had this prison is aslo the one place i feel safe. I guess thats what they call being instunalized..

so today is the last day of skool. and i have to say that im not really looking forward to sumer. last nite me and my mom got into anouther fight. honsetly im not even really sure what it is about.. i got a d in chem so i dout that i will be able to go to caseys party which sucks because i barely get to do anything at all. everyone is all, freaking out because its the last day of school and wish i could jion them but i realy couldnt give a shit. everyone on my step-dads side of the family is sick and i have a cousin that has the fucking chicken poks(or however the fuck you spell it) i guess this school year has gone okay...could have gone better but could have been worse to. i would have to say that my high for the year would have to be doing south pacfic. that was crazy fun and it was awsum being able to work with everyone. ive made alot of new friends this year so thats good. low wise i did get dumped and rejected many times after that which is terrable. alot of my friends im never going to see again because they were seniors or are sophmores going pseo or the vo-k.
i guess this year kinda sucked but it could have been worse. the next time i type i will be a senoir. i dont want to be a senior. that means the end of the some of the best years in my life and i dont want to grow up. i want to stay here, in this time, forever but it doesnt work that way and theres nothing i can do but lay back take it.

at the liberry i cant type a whole lot becuz mom is rushing me, she just had to bring both the girls. just posted a vid on youtube you mite want to check it out theres a good chance your in it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHMfWnknerg

so my summer pretty much sucked. ma fucked up her back and its still messed up...or raither she is. now her thyrod is being stupid again and shes always being a bitch. im always on guard around her and so is ryan. ok yeah i get it youre freaking out bc youve got one kid starting high skool one ending it and anouther starting kindergraden in a year. but has anyone bother to ask "hey aliee, how are you handleing this shit?" no! no one has! cuz im freaking out too. i cant rember not coming to skool. im going to have to make one of the biggest dession in my whole life. all we know is falling, our whole lives are about to change. why is it that even thou im at the top i feel lyk im at the bottom. i dont know how to deal with this shit and it would be nice if i didnt have to worry about my mother freaking out every other second.
then there are the dreams. the nightmares and so on. last nite i had a dream that all my teeth fell out and i hooked up with someone that i would raither not be with. i wish people would stay out of them...id raither sleep in darkness